On Alcohol
June 25 marked 1 year since I have had a drink...which is the longest stretch of time my body hasn’t consumed alcohol since I was probably 18. Obviously I was pregnant for 9.5 months of that stretch, and then as a co-sleeping mom I didn’t feel comfortable having a drink with a newborn in the bed. but then the time came where Marin rolled over, and the risk of SIDS declined. And yet, I still didn’t feel compelled to have a cocktail.
Here’s the thing: alcohol has been a huge part of my life since I was a kid. It was always at family parties, a trip to the liquor store was inevitable after grocery shopping with my grandma, and as I got older I was able to enjoy a glass of champagne without any issue in front of my parents. It was the norm from about age 18 for me to have a cocktail or two. During my battle with depression and low self esteem I definitely found alcohol to be a way to be more outgoing, more outspoken, and less worried about what others were thinking of me. During my darkest days I drowned my intense feelings of inadequacy in liquor. And although I wouldn’t consider myself an alcoholic, I know the tendency towards it has been there in my past.
what it has come down to for me now is the alignment with what I want in my life currently. I am working towards goals to be the healthiest and fittest I have ever been...not exactly a place where cocktails fit in. I am working on having patience with my kids and a better relationship with my husband...and although alcohol would help o the surface level, it wouldn’t help in finding the deep long lasting results. And I am building a business helping women work out why they are holding themselves back from happiness and light...ahem, and alcohol could be masking the discovery!
This is not to say that I will never drink again. It’s just to say that it doesn’t feel right for me now, and that’s okay. It’s to say that I am proud of myself for recognizing this, and not giving in to the societal pressure to have a glass of wine (I hate those mom memes!) it’s to say that if you’ve been thinking about releasing something that isn’t serving you in this season of your life, do it!! Even if it comes back and feels right later that’s okay. We need to listen to our intuition more, and lean into what it is calling us to do.