This little miracle wasn’t planned...At all. See this post to catch up. So after the initial shock of being pregnant I vowed that I would envision the perfect birthday for our second miracle. I wanted to use the experience from Morrison’s birth to make this second chance at it even better.

In preparation I did a lot of envisioning and manifesting. I also read two really helpful books. The first was Hypnobirthing and the second was Birthing from Within. Both offered insight on how to go within to find peace and strength. I wanted Marin’s birth to be something I could have almost a voyeuristic view of...an experience that I would really remember rather than a blur of pain and elation.

February 10 was the date I knew she would arrive. It felt right that both my kids would arrive nine days before my due date. The cyclical nature of past events in my life made me believe this even further. It was a Saturday so I knew my mom would be around to care for Morrison and Mike and I had plans in the early afternoon so I wouldn’t be with Morrison, which our doula had said can actually prohibit labor from progressing.

I woke up that day having light contractions. I took extra time to snuggle with my sleeping little boy, and then laid my head on Mike’s chest. I savored the last morning as our family of three. I got up and took bagel orders. Morrison got up to play with my mom and sister. I got my coat and slowly strolled to the bagel shop. I wanted to walk to keep the contractions going. I drank a fresh squeezed grapefruit juice as I walked home, and enjoyed the moment of quiet, the sun on my face. When I got home I ate my huge bagel, veggie, and tofu cream cheese sandwich knowing it would fuel me until I met my little girl.

i got in the shower, made sure I shaved my legs (haha,) did my coconut oil rub, and then hopped out and got ready to go to the R13 fashion show. We haven’t missed one yet, and this was not going to be the exception. Anyone who knows Mike and I knows that a lot of our history, passion, and career life has been rooted in fashion. So it’s no coincidence that both of our kids were born during New York Fashion Week. Mike and I headed to the show, and I insisted on walking to Soho. We headed uptown slowing down when I would have a surge. We got to the show and caught up with friends and saw the new collection. Afterward, Mike wanted to head directly to the hospital, but I wanted to pack my bag and wrap Marin’s gifts for Mo. So Mike reluctantly called a car to take us back downtown.

At the apartment I called our doula for a second time to let her know I thought this was it. She was calm and told me to get in the shower to make sure things were really progressing. I packed my bag, wrapped the gifts, then hopped into the shower. The contractions grew stronger, so I got out and called the doctor. When she called back Mike had to speak to her as I had another surge. She said to head to the hospital right away. With our doula on the way to pick us up, we collected our things and headed down to the street. I was mindful of everything, I breathed into each pain, and was still chatting in between each contraction in the car. There is nothing quite like a car ride through NYC while you’re in labor, and I have had the pleasure of doing it twice!! This time much more gracefully. We arrived at the hospital and went to the 12th floor. As Mike filled out paperwork I was escorted to my bed in triage, got changed, and checked in at 6cm! Inside I was thrilled, and asked Morgane if this meant I was going to have the baby for sure...to which she answered YES!

When Mike came in I asked him to take me to the bathroom. While there I had my first really strong contraction...the kind that made me want to yell. On our way back to the room I had a couple more contractions, and need help getting back into the bed. I instantly had the urge to push. As the doctor and nurses frantically got the equipment to deliver in triage, I pushed for the first time, the doctor asked if I wanted to feel her head and of course I did. I pushed again and there was her head, with her cord wrapped twice around her neck. The doctor cut the cord and I pushed a third time as my water broke and my little miracle completed her entrance. 6 hours of labor, and thirty minutes at the hospital later Marin Starr opened her lungs and stretched her limbs. My little piece of perfection weighing 8 lbs, 4oz and 20.5 in long was here.

There is really no greater feeling than the accomplishment of giving birth to your child. Your heart feels like it may explode, and you are so present in that moment. I laid there covered in blood and sweat holding my second baby experiencing complete bliss knowing my body had proven its strength once again. Being completely present for the day, for the pain, for the glorious rush of emotion and knowing that I manifested it was such a gift. One that has and will continue to remind me that my mind has the power to do and bring whatever I want into my life as long as it is in my best interest. There is a higher power that looks over us and graces us with exactly what we need with divine timing. Motherhood has proven this in my life, made me surrender control to that power, and to truly know that it has my back as long as I let go and just be.

Dad and his girl.

Birth of a Mother of 2